Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Das Anarchy in Hamburg

Shoplifters of the world, unite and take over!
--Morrissey
(indymedia.org UK reports)--
A GANG of anarchist Robin Hood-style thieves, who dress as superheroes (see pic) to steal expensive food from exclusive restaurants and delicatessens to give to the poor, are being hunted by police in the German city of Hamburg.

The gang members seemingly take delight in injecting humour into their raids, which rely on sheer numbers and the confusion caused by their presence. After they plundered Kobe beef fillets, champagne and smoked salmon from a gourmet store on the exclusive Elbastrasse, they presented the cashier with a bouquet of flowers before making their getaway. The latest robbery is part of a pattern over several months, suggesting that the thieves deliberately set out to highlight what they perceive as the inequality inherent in German society.
Die Polizei is not amused. Hamburg police spokesman Bodo Franz was quoted, "They get off feeling they are just like Robin Hood. There are about 30 in the group. But whatever their motives, they are thieves, plain and simple."

Sounds like sourgrapes to me. Naturally the German cops are pissed as their efforts to apprehend the "superheros" has been fruitless thus far.

Indy Media UK:
Carsten Sievers, the manager of a luxury supermarket in the wealthy Blankenese area of Hamburg, recently watched the robbers run off with trolleys full of expensive foodstuffs, including Kobe beef which, at more than $175 a pound, is always on their illicit shopping list. (see pic of their impressive stash)

In another recent swoop, the gang emptied a buffet table in a top restaurant into sacks, while one of their number held up a sign saying. "The fat years are over!"

In internet statements, the gang have made a point of saying their booty is distributed to Hartz IV recipients - the poorest of Germany's poorest.

When the gang robbed the gourmet store in April - triggering a massive police investigation that cost $37,000 in taxpayers' money without an arrest being made - they left a note behind saying: "Without the abilities of the superheroes to help them, it would be impossible for ordinary people to survive in the city of the millionaires."

Police say they are concentrating their investigation on a loose collective of anarchists and malcontents called "Hamburg in Vain", to which they believe the superheroes belong. But they admit there is a certain panache and skill about their robberies. indicating a strong criminal element as well.

The gang are also behind black market cinema tickets which they distribute free to the poor, and they have printed leaflets telling passengers how to dodge ticket inspectors on the city's underground and buses.
I love it, what can I say?

6 comments:

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Oh that is just PERFECT!

I think I love those guys...;)

Todd and in Charge said...

Hilarious. Can they open a US office?

Elsa said...

I don't condone shoplifting, but this story certainly has a certain satirical humor to it.

The Phoenix said...

Germans are so damn weird. You think poor people actually like that crap? Get them die hamburgers.

Ben Heller said...

Achtung ! Ich liebe dieses Mennen. Ich mochte Wiener Schnitzel.

Schadenfreude said...

Awesome. It's like Robin Hood + Justice League - super powers x Farfegnugen = laugh my ass off.