Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Dick Leak

Aparently the U.S. Olympic biathalon team can't hit the broad side of a barn. After a disgraceful 80th place finish by the top American, (Europeans swept the medals) I can't help but thinking Team USA does't have its best biathalon team competing in the Olympics.

This just in from Torino (cnnsi reports)--
Jay Hakkinen couldn't believe what he was seeing through his scope. The target didn't go
down! Are you kidding?

Puzzled, he checked his rifle.


He lined up his sights and fired again.

Another miss!

Panicked now, another check of the rifle. Still no explanation for what was happening.

Was he firing at the wrong targets? No.

His equipment? Fine. Heart rate? Good. Eyesight? Perfect. Breathing? Excellent.

He peered again and fired again. Another miss.

And so it went ...

A fourth miss, a fifth miss, a check of the rifle after every perplexingly errant shot as the crowd at the Olympic biathlon course grew silent at the anguishing sight of a man's lifelong dreams dashed.

Never in his life had the 29-year-old from Kasilof, Alaska, missed all five shots in a round on the range.

Just like that, the Americans' best hope for a biathlon medal were gone.

Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? Maybe the very best American sharpshooters are somewhere in Texas shootin' quail. And their friends. Hey, at least the Vice President hit something, that's better than our Olympic team could manage.

Image courtesy Daryl Cagle
Top image courtesy of cnnsi.com.

1 comment:

David Amulet said...

I know there many good athletes around the world. And I am aware that many countries--and not only in Scandanavia--have fine traditions in the winter sports.

But for the US to finish 80th in any competition is just sad. Soon we'll be losing to Mauritania in the halfpipe.

And I finally added your link to my site. Sorry about the delay ...

-- david