Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Lassiter and Limbaugh, Strangest of Bedfellows

Overheard on the train:"I used to be hooked on crystal, now I'm hooked on crystal lite!"
Now that I think about it, Rush Limbaugh and I really do have a lot in common. We share a love of country. We have big mouths and egos. And we are both recovering drug addicts.

While Rush was running 'round doctor shopping and popping pills like they're Tic Tacs, I was doing everything humanly possible to score another bag of meth. I am sure I speak for Rush when I say "It was ugly."

Would you believe that Rush and I were actually in rehab at the same time back in 2003? Early on (right about the time I stopped grinding my jaw. I am guessing day 4) the scandal broke that Rush got busted and sent to some luxury treatment center in the southwest. In fact, Rush's stint in drug rehab set off quite a heated philosophical debate in my recovery gang. Aparently Rush was being weaned off OxyContin with this fancy new fangled method where he was in a kind of medically induced half-coma while the drug works it self out of the system.

When I learned about this I was jealous.

"If you could do it that way, would you?" My drug councelor Craig asked my group of recovering junkies.

"YES!!" we shouted back. Coming down off of crystal meth is a lot like re-entering the earth's atmosphere: You're travelling at the speed of sound while desperately hoping to not burst into flames. Would I want to basically detox in the comfort of my own comfy coma? Hell Yeah!

But it was the wrong answer. Naturally, that method--painless as it is--would have not bode well for my long-term recovery. Nope, staying clean would require more work than that.

Keeping myself on the straight and narrow also required me to start taking responsibility for my actions. I couldn't continue to blame my childhood or the liberal media for my problems.

It's weird being inextricably linked to ol' Rush. When I heard about his latest drug-related legal problems, it brought back some interesting memories. One thing's for sure after nearly three years off crystal, I'm glad I did it the hard way.
(Image courtesy www.cagle.com)

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